My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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