You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
