ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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