That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I am available for nakedness
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize