Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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