sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I would fuck him just for his dog
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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