im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
oh god was she eating orange peels again
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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