i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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