never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
