She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize