While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
