I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
