I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
