You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
