Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
