Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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