well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
