you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
