why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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