Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
how drunk are you?
Several
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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