just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
do herpes really smell.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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