HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Everything about him screamed your future.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
