Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
