Don't you send me to vm
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
