I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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