you lied. pity sex is amazing.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I think pants incapable of making pants work
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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