I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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