Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
she pinky promised me she was 18
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize