News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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