Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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