The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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