I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize