Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
it's great music for shaving your balls
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
