i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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