i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
