Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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