I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
