Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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