so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
So much Jack, so little girl.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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