dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
