is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
