just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
