I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
