Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
