how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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