there's paper in my vomit.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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