I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
