Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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