Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
