I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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