its not stalking. its research.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize