just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
