just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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