Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
