yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Randomize
