i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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