There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
