The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
