Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
