I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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